It is May and I am in Cambodia. That can mean one obvious complaint. It’s been hot! Oddly though, it doesn’t feel as hot as I remember all the other dry seasons I have managed to survive. Nonetheless I have taken my health into my own hands so I am starting what I call the Intense Water Program. Simply put, it involves me actually drinking water and more than the typical small glass per day. Anyways, I don’t want to come across as one of those fancy health people and start using too much of their crazy lingo or anything. But what I will say, is that I do feel rather hydrated these days. I know that sounds technical but, it is the truth!
Anyways, just the same as every other human being on this planet can observe, time seems to being flying by. It feels like just yesterday my parents were here in Cambodia as well as my buddy Anne who visited us from the states. Obviously when people visit a slew of stories are created. Stories?? Exactly…..let’s begin.
So as I mentioned my friend Anne who we like to call Pervert Anne came to visit for a few weeks. I should mention Pervert Anne isn’t actually a pervert but the name makes her feel uncomfortable and being the amazing friend that I am, of course, enjoy watching her feel uncomfortable or annoyed. Maybe this is why I don’t have many friends…hmm…anyways that is far from important. Back to the story telling. So it was a Friday morning that Abby goes to the translation office to cook and Anne was heading off with her early so that she could get a tour mid
morning. I had been feeling a bit under the weather so I stayed at home and tried to rest. I ended up sleeping in a bit and hanging out in the living room for a while. Probably around 10:30 or 11:00am I had texted Abby about needing to borrow something of hers. She said it was in her bathroom. I immediately went to Abby’s room, opened the door and thought to myself, “Those two idiots!” Here they had gone off all morning and left Abby’s bathroom light on…..argh! Waste power much ladies!? So I go and open the door to the bathroom and then proceeded to nearly have a heart attack! Why? Mostly because Pervert Anne was sitting on the toilet!! “ANNE!!!” I yelled. She frantically says, ” I have diarrhea!” And so while closing the door of course my response was ” NO JOKE, it REEKS in here!” ( Which was the rest of the reason I just about had a heart attack! ) The two of us then continued the awkward conversation through the door. Come to find out that poor little Pervert Anne’s tum tum didn’t do so well with some of the Indian food we had the night before. Doesn’t get more cliche than that now does it!? What I still find crazy to this day is why no one thought they should inform me that there was still someone in the house. Pervert Anne had been sleeping in ALSO and didn’t leave Abby’s room. All I can say is good thing I wasn’t preparing for any upcoming lip sync battles!
Another part of Pervert Anne’s elegant vacation was our little road trip down to Takeo to visit our friends Kyle and Glori. We took two motos on what should have been a smooth non-issue-ridden trip. Well it started off great until we made it about 3/4 of the way. It started to rain a little bit so we pulled over to put our beautiful ponchos on. That isn’t the bad part, at all, rain is normal. The bad part was that Abby’s moto wouldn’t start up again. The macho lady that I am managed to kick start her moto and get it going again. As I started to walk back to my moto I noticed something sticking to the bottom of my shoe. Come to find out it wasn’t something sticking to my shoe it was
something falling off. The rubber on the bottom of my sole peeled off one of my shoes. Are you kidding me!!! Talk about feeling like a hobo. ( Actually I think that the heat had messed with the glue and the shoe just said…I’m OUT guys ) So we get back on the road, ” Here we come Takeo!” Oh wait, hold on….Abby’s moto stops again and this time there was no amount of kick starting to get her going again. Fortunately there was a random mechanic RIGHT there! haha Long story short, it was her battery. While we were there we found out that this same mechanic was Kyle and Glori’s old mechanic when he lived in town. We were in good hands. THEN when we made it to Kyle and Glori’s to find out that he was a terrible mechanic so we weren’t in good hands. Fortunately he only needed to change the battery though so it was an ok deal. When we finally had to head back to Phnom Penh, everything fun started happening again. First off, the rubber on my second shoe also threw its hands in the air. We made it about 10 minutes out of town when it started raining extremely heavy. Tropical storm heavy if you know what that means. Pervert Anne was having the time of her life though. She rides motorcyles of her own back home so this was just amazing and she was riding my moto as I was with Abby. It was really amazing until she was going through the single most scariest roundabout outside of Phnom Penh that always has massive semi trucks and gravel everywhere. In the
absolute middle of it she braked a tiny bit and it locked up and dumped the moto. Not a huge dump, she caught it thankfully, but enough that if there was a passenger they would have fallen off. Also enough that if I had still been the driver my stupid smooth hobo shoes wouldn’t have helped me one bit! So as I look back and see poor Anne in the middle of the roundabout stopping huge trucks and they are honking at her she is up in a flash and stops behind Abby and I. The back brakes were shot! We then began our very slow trek back to our place with Pervert Anne following behind with only her front brakes in working order. We ended up making it back to the apartment safe and sound, filthy, but safe! And that is the abrupt end to that story!
Well guys that about wraps up this edition of SezKapow. I would keep writing but I should go drink some water! Enjoy the few photos I have for this post. You might notice we took Pervert Anne down to the beach again….it was painful but we had to!
*Extra note for the people that worry. We are not stupid girls on motos, we would have tried to fix the brake and or not used it if that was an option. We are super safe and there is nothing to be alarmed about. The end
Tip of the Season: Drink some water guys. Sip don’t gulp…hahaha